Olympic Hockey

Here's the skinny on the six hockey superpowers, as The Paperless One saw it from the start of the Olympics:

We'll leave it here to remind Paperless why he doesn't wager on things...

(Okay, so two out of three medals predicted isn't SO BAD, is it? - Paperless, March 26, 2002)

CANADA (GOLD) - With the decreased level of aggression at the Olympic level, Eric "Glass Jaw" Lindros may just hold up for the entire tournament. Expect to see Pat Quinn throw a lot of gum and swear like an Irishman at Team Canada's class clown, Theo Fleury, who will serve as the wiley decoy to enable the team's "skill players" to do their stuff...taking them to the gold medal showdown, of course.

FINLAND (fourth) - With two Leafs in the lineup, Aki, Jyrki, and the boys may just end up getting themselves in the medal contention, providing that Jani Hurme doesn't get into it with the opposing goaltender!

CZECH REPUBLIC - They aren't the powerhouse they were four years ago. Sure, Hasek's happy with the Red Wings (and having a good year), but Yammy Jagr is having the worst season of his career. A return to the Olympics will only affirm this notion. On the bright side, expect to see Tomas Kaberle bring back lots of good experience to the Leafs.

SWEDEN (SILVER) - Big Mats Sundin is having the kind of year Jagr wishes he was having. He won't feel out of place on the Swedish team alongside his linemate Mikeal Renberg, and with the help of his Swede nemesis, Kenny Jonsson, the team will be sitting pretty for a medal of some colour.

RUSSIA (BRONZE) - They've got the Bures, they've got Danny Markov (a man who would throw himself in front of a train if it was heading for the net!), and they've got a good hooligan (Kasparaitis). They're a force to be reckoned with, and should have it relatively easy with games against Finland and U.S.A.

U.S.A. - Jinx on you! Jinx on you! The "home team" has stacked the cards with a bit of clever shenanigans at the NHL headquarters, with the badly timed All-Star Game, and the unfair "Olympic Break". The only thing the "Dream Team" forgot to do was get themselves a dream TEAM. Sure, Brett Hull and John LeClair bring a lot of experience to the table, but, face it, Bill Guerin is the best hope this team has to even make it as far as the medal round. Just because the cards have been stacked in their favour doesn't make them the shoe-in they wish they were.

Oh yeah, our beer's better, too!