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| Tie On Another One May 6, 2001
It's been a record year for Tie, with a record thirteen goals, one big movie role, and over 200 penalty minutes yet again. The big year has extended into a big playoff run, something which Tie doesn't normally enjoy. His usual position as pine warmer/Sandy McCarthy taunter in the playoffs has been replaced with "first line starter" and 15 minute player. However, all this accomplishment was soon forgotten when Tie delivered a surprise elbow to New Jersey Devil Scott Niedermayer late in the third period of Game 4 of the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs, knocking Niedermayer unconscious. Much was made over the hit, which was not apparently spotted at the time by anyone other than New Jersey's resident goon captain, Scott Stevens, who happened to see the whole thing from his caged-dog vantage point in the penalty box. If no one saw the hit the first time around, we were certainly treated to an endless loop of it for the next three days, along with a barrage of bad publicity for the NHL, and the inevitable: comments from Don Cherry on Saturday night's "Coach's Corner". After allowing Niedermayer to lay motionless on the ice for several minutes, the drama escalated when an old guy was seen taking his pulse. Out came the stretcher, and like Hannibal Lecter, Niedermayer was rolled onto it, his neck all velcro'd up, and wheeled off the ice surface. The funeral music being played on the organ didn't help matters much, either. Once the Academy Award winning show was completed, Niedermayer, best known for his performance in the 1970's cult film "Animal House", got off of the stretcher and headed straight to the phone to call his agent.
Domi goes up to the principal's office, to find out that his actions have granted him an early exit from the playoffs, and an immediate end to a record season, one that may very well end up going all the way for the rest of a team that trudged out a 7th-place finish in the East by being a team that was "built for the playoffs".
Meanwhile, the Leafs go on to crush New Jersey in Game #5. New Jersey retaliate by knocking over Curtis Joseph twice in a row within the last minutes of the game. Game Six will be ugly. Niedermayer will be back - he probably could have came back for Game Five, but that would have taken away from the black cloud over Tie Domi's head, and Scott Stevens will continue to bash anything in blue and white. Both goalies will get knocked over at every opportunity, and Gomez, most famous as the father on "The Addams Family", will be shadowed on every occasion as will Mats Sundin. Toronto may even recreate the "Richard Riots"! The playoffs won't be the same without Domi...however, they are destined not to suck without him, either. The Leafs still have Corson, Tucker, and Manson, and have seen some surprising physical play from two of its key players not normally affiliated with pugilism, Mats Sundin and Sergei Berezin. They've got enough gas in their collective tank to go at least one more round, and maybe even give Colorado a good run in the final (let's just hope that my hockey predictions are a bit better than my "Survivor" ones). What's your take on the whole thing? Was Domi's suspension too harsh? Sound off on the Egulphy.com Message Boards. Until next week, when I just might write about local female ICQ stalkers (just kidding - I just wanted to see who was paying attention), the Paperless One says "later"!!!
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The Paperless One finds himself writing about the Albanian Assassin yet again -
for a record THIRD TIME! 
News
flash: Domi gets sent to the principal's office for disciplinary
action. On the way, a Toronto Sun photographer decides that he would much
rather take an elevator ride with Domi and Quinn than photograph Hooters
waitresses for Page 3 of his reputable newspaper. Quinn takes exception,
grabs the Sun paparazzi by the neck, and says "Get out of my way!".
Domi
gives a press conference, reads half of his statement from a piece of paper
borrowed from John Rocker's press conference, eventually speaking on his own,
and breaking down into tears when asked how he explained his actions to his son.
![[FARK]](http://img.fark.com/images/2000/farksml.jpg){kind=small}
©2003