Al Qaeda's Next Move

August 3, 2003

Ask any kid under 10 who his or her favourite cartoon character is, and if they don't tell you it's Pikachu, there's a good chance that their answer will be Osama Bin Laden. 

In the two short years that CBS has been broadcasting Bin Laden's Saturday morning cartoon in the U.S., Bin Laden's popularity among kids 10 and under is at an all-time high. 

Achieving such a coveted market share has not been easy for Bin Laden.  With the cultural bombardment of children, it would be all too easy for Osama's "gentle old uncle" persona to get lost amid a sea of Pokemon characters and Rugrats, if it weren't for the multi-million dollar action figure campaign that Mattel has launched for Osama. 

Mattel's poseable action figures come complete with an army of bearded men, and a battery-powered remote control Hummer vehicle.  The action figures also fit the weaponry sold for the Taliban action figures that were designed for the company by toy maker/cartoonist Todd MacFarlane.

"He reminds me of my Grandpa.  He looks nothing like my Grandpa, and probably doesn't smell as bad, but he reminds me of A Grandpa I may have had if I didn't live in the U.S.A.," said young Billy McLuskey, an eight-year old spotted in a New Hampshire Toys 'R' Us outlet buying one of the Bin Laden action figures.

The Osama phenomenon doesn't stop with the TV show and the dolls.  Kids can participate in AOL chatrooms devoted to the feisty freedom fighter, and send one another Al Qaeda coded messages online.

Advertising Bin Laden's image does not sit well with some people over the age of 10, however.  Recently, it was reported that hundreds of Bin Laden action figures, along with dozens of plush "Tickle Me Osama" dolls, were recently seized by police in Pakistan and burned.  Ironically enough, there is still an outstanding lawsuit regarding this event - when Bin Laden found out that his dolls were being burned, he became concerned with the amount of toxic fumes that may have been given off in the process, and as a result, has sued the police for polluting the environment and damaging the reputation of Al Qaeda,

With all of the controversy surrounding Bin Laden, kids have not stopped emulating the ways of the cartoon Bin Laden.  Although they can't grow beards like Osama's signature Muslim facial locks, kids still take every opportunity to emulate the ways of Bin Laden and friends. 

Elementary school teachers claim that since the Bin Laden series has been on the air in the U.S., frequent cases of what is known on the show as "the Al Qaeda tickle" have been brought to their attention.

Critics of the Bin Laden show suspect that Al Qaeda may be trying to infiltrate the pre-teen set through the series, and that Al Qaeda may even be sneaky enough to be plotting an "attack of tickling that could be initiated on command and carried out by school-aged fans of Al Qaeda's cartoon series".

Reuters reported in June that a group of five 8-year old Maryland children from South Frederick Elementary School in Frederick, Maryland were detained by FBI agents on suspicion of terrorism after they went on a rampage of tickling during their morning recess on the third last day of the school year.

The children are currently being detained at the Guantanamo Bay naval station in Cuba.

CNN downplays all conspiracy theories regarding Bin Laden's show, and refuses to upgrade the United States' terrorism alert from yellow to burnt sienna.  They have sent Christianna Amanpour to Cuba to interview the children, but have so far chosen to not even tell Aaron Brown of the whereabouts of the suspected terrorists.

Meanwhile, much to the chagrin of parents all over America, Bin Laden doll sales are expected to continue their record sales until the end of the busy Ramadan season.

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