October 13, 2002

Hockey...after one week!

October 13, 2002

If anyone told us that after a week of hockey, the Tampa Bay Tampons and the Minnesota Wild would both be unbeaten, we would have laughed hysterically at you. However, we've been too busy crying in our collective beers over the lackluster start that our Toronto Maple Griefs have forced us to watch so far this season.

Not only were we collectively kicked in the ass to find out that Curtis Joseph bailed on the Leafs in favor of a "contending team" in Detroit, but we also felt less than thrilled about Cujo's seemingly last-minute replacement, Ed Belfour.

Eddie was, along with Joseph, a member of the gold-medal winning Canadian Olympic team, but gained more infamy when he had a run-in with police and security guards, and allegedly offered the arresting officers as much as one billion dollars in lieu of not taking him to jail.

Right about now, fans might be willing to pay him a billion dollars to get a win out of this team, but the way things have been going so far, it looks like these boys may even be struggling for a playoff spot.

Toronto fans can be ruthless, and if the current trend continues, the team may have to order an extra spit shield for their own dressing room exits at the Air Canada Center.

Not all is bad in the Leafs camp, however. Pat Quinn, after a summer of healthy living, is sporting a human-sized head these days! Tie Domi is off to a roaring start with three goals in the pre-season and a couple more in real life (more than his penalty minute total!!!). Top-linemates Mats Sundin and Alex Mogilny are combining for huge amounts of points in the hockey pools...

All this, and we're still in agony...

The Paperless One