January 13, 2002

Puddle of Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour

January 13, 2002

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Looking as though he emerged from a "Jay and Silent Bob" convention, Kansas City's Wes Scantlin looks the part of the rock and roll goofball he really is. As the lead singer of the Fred Durst-assembled "boy band" Puddle of Mudd, Scantlin was recruited to write and record a "hit rock record" and ride on the coat-tails, er, production credentials of Limp Bizkit.

What actually happened was the literal bombardment of crap from this band of boy buffoons, which all started with the first single, "Control":

I love the way you look at me
I love the way you smack my ass...

We knew instantly that Wes had left the toque on in the sun a few too many times, counting no fewer than fifty-seven (57) references to dirt on the band's debut album.

Was this more than a coincidence? Are Creed a bunch of closet Christians in denial? Does a bear shit in the woods? Is the Pope Catholic?

Is it more than irony that prompted the band to name themselves "PUDDLE OF MUDD" and entitle their debut disc "Come Clean"?

Paperless has been informed by the same folks you brought you the news flash that Creed's messages like "you take me higher" and those in the band's latest single, "Sacrifice", are actually secret messages luring music fans into the fray of Christianity - Wes Scantlin refuses to touch doorknobs, and actually left the studio between every take while recording "Come Clean" to wash his hands. In fact, by the end of the session, Fred Durst had a sink installed right in the vocal booth (you can hear air in the taps rattling at the end of "Blurry", and you can actually see the touring version of the double sink in the band's live set).

While we once thought of Scantlin as just a metal dirtbag with a bad attitude toward girlfriends, we now feel a certain empathy toward him, and almost a sense of pride: Scantlin is making millions of dollars while airing his "dirty laundry", and hasn't even had to go on the "Jerry Springer" show to do so. We will never hear the references to the "unclean" in the same way, Wes.

On the other hand, we wish you'd ditch the buttheaded hat, Wes. Do you have the "going bald like Garth Brooks" issues happening here, or is it just a fear of your precious hair getting dirty?

If your sarcasm filter was off for this article, a wayward reader may get the idea that we like Puddle of Mudd or approve of their "dirty" music. Paperless washes twice behind the ears after listening to these guys, then smacks his own ass.