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April 14, 2002

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`The Paperless One's Hockey Picks

April 14, 2002

Might I remind you that The Paperless One picked Pat Quinn's Team Canada for the gold in this year's Olympics...

EAST

Montreal Canadiens (8) Boston Bruins (1)

 

 

Paperless predicts that the Habs, under the inspiration of Saku Koivu (not to mention all the great former Leafs on the team), will kick Boston's ass and make chowder out of them!

Montreal in 5.

Ottawa Senators (7) Philadelphia Flyers(2)

 

 

Ottawa, as lame in the post-season as they normally are, will come into their own this year as they will defeat the injury-riddled Flyers - even thought Daniel Alfredson looks like Jerry Stiller with that moustache!

Ottawa in 7.

New Jersey Devils (6) Carolina Hurricanes (3)

 

 

As much as I hate the New Jersey Devils and their clutch-and-grab style, they will likely beat the Carolina Hurricanes...why?  Two words:  Martin Brodeur!

Devils in 5.

Toronto Maple Leafs (4) New York Islanders (5)

 

 

The Leafs will level these clowns all the way back to 1993 (that would be the last time these guys even saw a playoff win).  They will, however, allow them one mercy win along the way.

Yashin, Peca, and the Polish Prince will be no match for the boys, even if Cujo's hand goes wacky again.

Leafs in 5.

WEST

 

Vancouver Canucks (8) Detroit Red Wings (1)

 

 

Vancouver have been playing playoff hockey for months now, so Todd Bertuzzi already has a start on his playoff beard.

Canucks will perform a major upset with a win in 7 hard-fought games.

Colorado Avalanche (2) L.A. Kings (7)

 

 

Patrick Roy.  Nuff said.

Colorado in 6.

Phoenix Coyotes (6) San Jose Sharks (3)

 

 

Phoenix, even without Danny Markov (injured still?) and Sergei, will swindle a victory over Teemu and the boys...wait a minute, there are no boys, Teemu's all by himself!

Coyotes in 6.

Chickenlago Blackhawks (5) St. Louis Blues (4)

 

 

Did I really pick Chicago in 4?  I must have been drunk.  Maybe I meant Chicago in 7.

SECOND ROUND

Toronto Maple Leafs Montreal Canadiens

THIRD ROUND

Leafs in 6.

New Jersey Devils Ottawa Senators

 

FINALS

Devils and Senators?  Aren't they one and the same?  Devils in 5.

Colorado Avalanche Vancouver Canucks

 

 

Colorado will rain on Vancouver's well-fought parade in 5.

Chickenlago Blackhawks Phoenix Coyotes

 

 

Chickenlago will remember what post-season play is all about and defeat the Wily Coyotes in 6.

THIRD ROUND

Toronto Maple Leafs New Jersey Devils

FINAL

 

Revenge is a dish best served cold...Leafs in 6.

Colorado Avalanche Chickenlago Blackhawks

 

 

Colorado in 7.

FINALS

Toronto Maple Leafs Colorado Avalanche

 

 

You wish, Paperless.  Leafs in 6?  Are pigs flying or what?!?

Even Paperless can dream, folks.

 

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