Home index.htm Visitor Feedback Egulphy FAQ Buy Stuff Buy Magazines Search What's New?
February 18, 2001


I'm STILL showin' a-writer-love!

February 18, 2001

Okay, who posted it on the Internet that the Paperless One loved to help out bad-off musicians?  Just today, I received an e-mail which I am sure is related to my "show-a-writer-love" e-mail of last month.

Here's how it went:

"I have worked for a year to get this tape together."  Cheese said as he left the Buchanan County Jail this past week.  He was arriagned on gun charges that could lead to a five year prison sentence.  Earlier in the week he had announced that he had just finished work on his new tape and that it was ready for the market industry.  While we haven't spoken personally with him, rumor has it that he is fighting to get the charges dropped.  You can visit his website at http://lleivan.tripod.com

Interesting, huh?  The Paperless One gets all kinds!  After going to "Cheese"'s website, I discovered that he is a DJ/MC from St. Joseph, Minnesota.  From the e-mail, it appears that he has chosen to live the real gangsta life and get arrested on gun charges.  Interesting way to "make it", don't you think?  It brought a lot of press to Puff Daddy, so why not try it BEFORE we get famous?  This is a unique approach - perhaps "Cheese" is quite clever.  Let's check out the website's "samples" page to see just how clever this person is.

First of all, the site quickly becomes a pop-up hell that rivals any porn site on the Internet (minus the poon!).  Secondly, I cannot find the mystery artist's name anywhere on the site, but got here through a Tripod page owned by "Larry Levian".  Perhaps Larry has an alter ego named "Cheese", and feels that he cannot take on the world without such a persona, or without a story about gun charges.

I can't wait to hear the PHAT BEATS!  As I twiddle my thumbs and sing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" while waiting for my 56K modem to download the uncompressed samples in WAV format, I check my e-mail and stare off into space at a "psychic friends" infomercial.

Alas!  The booty!  It's only 64k in size - it must be a short sample.  Perhaps "da shit" is just too good to give away in larger quantities.

I play the file in Winamp.  It's a whole whopping bar of a drums and synth riff that sounds like a cross between Daft Punk and the score from "Beverly Hills Cop".

Will "Cheese" take on the world with these "phat beats"?  I don't think so.  After all, it is a Casiotone Nation, kids!  The Paperless One signs off this week even more confused than when he started.  Maybe he'll even fork out a fiver for Cheese's CD of "Phat Beats" and buy the licensing rights to use in my first film!

 [FARK]The Onion, America's Finest News SourceThis page is powered by Blogger.2003 www.egulphy.com  Send hate mail to webmaster@egulphy.com.