Melvins Land

Greetings, Melvins fans and Listserv members!

You're likely here to find out the ins and outs of working the MELVINS LISTSERV LIST...if that's so, read on...

Back in the day, I passionately maintained one of the few Melvins sites on the Internet. Even The Melvins themselves were nervous about the "top secret" info that was being tipped off to me about them.

The site is preserved as an archive, but hasn't been updated in years. Since then, the Melvins have actually started their own web site, as have many people with much more time to devote to the cause than myself.

Here are some recommendations for Melvins sites - the last two being archived versions of my old site.

If you want your site to appear on the list, send me an e-mail and I'll post it here. After all, I wouldn't want to snub anyone!

MELVINS.COM: Finally!

THEMELVINS.NET

MELVINS IS GAY: It had to be on the list

CAPTAIN PUNGENT'S MELVINS SHACK: Home to lots o' MP3's

MELVINS LAND: The Final Version

MELVINS LAND: A Really Old Archived Version

The Melvins still rock my world...

- The Paperless One aka King Jeffo, May 2002

...and now, without further (127,000 people claim it's "ado", 34,000 claim it's
adieu"), here are the rules and regs regarding working the Listserv:

Q:First off, what is this list and what can I expect from it?

A:The list, officially know as MELVINS-L, serves as a means of distributing information relating to the Melvins to fans of the band that have e-mail access. The list is a low traffic list, as it is usually reserved for information purposes rather than for discussion and debating.

I believe the list members prefer it this way, as our mailboxes don't get overrun with such great volumes of crap threads that we don't even read it! However, there are no rules or regulations against using MELVINS-L for Melvins related discussion, just keep it relevant and no one will complain - we're all easy going folks!

Q:The list is locked, the list is locked!!! Should I slit my wrists?

A:I have implemented a maximum post limit of 50 messages per day. Some people are logged onto the list using their work e-mail, and others are just too busy to wade through hundreds of messages from people with all the free time in the world to discuss The Melvins.

Nothing against "discussion", but please exercise judgment before posting to the list. If it locks up, we all lose, as it has to be reset by me before anyone gets any messages.

post banter and discussion to http://www.ipecac.com's Melvins bulletin board or use an IRC program
reply directly to the poster whenever applicable
conduct polls by using polling software such as HTML Gear's Poll app - post a link to the poll on the list if you please, then report the findings back to the list
go outside and get some fresh air

Q:How do I get on this list? I was on the manual list...do I have to sign up again?

A:To subscribe to the list, send an e-mail message to:

listserv@listserv.aol.com

with an empty SUBJECT HEADER, your SIGNATURE TURNED OFF, and the following text:

subscribe MELVINS-L Julio Iglesias

Of course, if your name is NOT Julio Iglesias, and I suspect that it is not, you may, just may, want to substitute your name in place of Julio's. Otherwise, Julio will be getting a pile of mail about the Melvins, and may just be heard wondering, "Melvins? They aren't girls I've loved before, are they? I'll ask Willie about this one!"

In order to execute all the amazing Listserv commands properly, anyone signed up to the manual list needs to sign up to the Listserv list using the process mentioned above. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Q:Why are there about a million guys on the list named Julio Iglesas?

A:They read these instructions and followed them too literally.

Q:Is the list moderated?

A:No. The list is a free-for-all circus where anything goes! Seriously, it's not, but self-moderation is a much better policy than assigning the evil job of moderator to someone. If you're pushing your luck, someone will let you know!

Q:Nirvana are my favourite band...I heard they knew the Melvins. Can I discuss Nirvana on this list...the Nirvana mailing list is too busy?!?

A:No way, fanboy. If you can directly relate it to the Melvins, then your life may be spared, but otherwise, don't even think about it!

Q:Can I receive my mail in a digest form?
(This question will become relevant as volumes of mail increase and people are sick of seeing a million individual messages in their e-mail box...)

A:This list is available in digest form. If you wish to receive the digested version of the postings, just type the command:

SET MELVINS-L DIGEST

in a message to:

listserv@listserv.aol.com

Q:I missed some info (deleted e-mail, etc.) - are all the messages stored anywhere, and how can I get them?

A:Contributions sent to this list are automatically archived. You can get a list of the available archive files by sending an "INDEX MELVINS-L" command to:

listserv@listserv.aol.com

You can then order these files with a "GET MELVINS-L LOGxxxx" command, or using LISTSERV's database search facilities. Send an "INFO DATABASE" command for more information on the latter.

Q:Huh?

A:Send an e-mail to:

listserv@listserv.aol.com

with the text "GET MELVINS-L LOGxxxx" as follows (here are the available archives:

GET MELVINS-L LOG0896
GET MELVINS-L LOG0996
GET MELVINS-L LOG1096
GET MELVINS-L LOG1196
GET MELVINS-L LOG1296
GET MELVINS-L LOG0197
GET MELVINS-L LOG0297
GET MELVINS-L LOG0397
GET MELVINS-L LOG0497
GET MELVINS-L LOG0597
GET MELVINS-L LOG0697

etc. etc. etc. up to the present month and year!

Q:How do I send mail to the list? Must I be a member of the list to send mail to it?

A:To send a message to all the people currently subscribed to the list, just send mail to:

MELVINS-L@LISTSERV.AOL.COM

This is called "sending mail to the list", because you send mail to a single address and LISTSERV makes copies for all the people who have subscribed. This address (MELVINS-L@LISTSERV.AOL.COM) is also called the "list address". You must never try to send any command to that address, as it would be distributed to all the people who have subscribed. All commands must be sent to the "LISTSERV address", LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM. It is very important to understand the difference between the two, but fortunately it is not complicated.

The LISTSERV address is like a FAX number, and the list address is like a normal phone line. If you accidentally make your FAX call someone's voice line, the person receiving the call will be annoyed. If you do this regularly, however, your victim will probably get seriously upset and send you a nasty complaint.

It is the same with mailing lists, with the difference that you are calling hundreds or thousands of people at the same time, so a lot more people get annoyed if you use the wrong number.

Currently, to avoid spam from others, the list is set to only accept submissions from list members. This by no means implies that it's some sort of elitist club or anything, as subscribing is just so easy...

How do I unsubscribe?

We'll assume that you are asking because you CHANGED YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS and are CANCELING YOUR OLD ONE so that you can SUBSCRIBE using your NEW ADDRESS.

A: To unsubscribe to the list, send an e-mail message to:

listserv@listserv.aol.com

with an empty SUBJECT HEADER, your SIGNATURE TURNED OFF, and the following text:

signoff MELVINS-L

Q:How do I get my sorry ass thrown off the list?

A:There are a few ways:

start a flame war
post irrelevant shit
piss off enough list members
talk excessively about Nirvana
claim that Americans are better than Canadians
solicit unrelated junk via the list
debate world religions
ask too many stupid questions
piss me off
post anything with attachments
warn the list about computer viruses or missing children

Q:I still need help! Where can I turn?

A:If you still encounter problems or have additional questions not covered here, send me a message:

owner-melvins-l@listserv.aol.com

egulphy@egulphy.com